Connections are important for human beings; we thrive on such bonds. But what happens when connections snap and people move ahead in life in different directions?
It can happen with a relative or a friend. Someone you studied with in school, or were together in college, has now moved to a different city or country; you have lost touch and have now become practically strangers. It is not a very good feeling and can make you miss that person until you realise it is best to focus on your own life, too.
Losing a friend can hurt as much as a romantic relationship failing, says Devina Kaur, an inspirational speaker, author, radio host, and founder of ‘Sexy Brilliant’, a non-profit foundation. “But, if you’re planning on getting in touch with that long-lost friend, here are a few tips for you so you don’t get awkward around them,” she shares. Read on.
1. Lower your expectations
According to Kaur, meeting someone new is a lot easier than meeting someone from your past. “Make sure to not expect a lot of things from them because you’ve lost touch. You can’t expect them to know everything about your life and sympathise with you when you’ve been gone for so long. Be patient and kind with yourself and others,” she advises.
2. Laugh and cherish old memories
Kaur says that before moving on to something serious, lean on to past memories that you both were a part of. “Laugh at your silliness and the innocence of the moment. Memories will help you to unwind and release the awkwardness and tension.”
3. Play catch up
It’s advisable to catch up on each other’s lives by asking questions. “Ask more questions and be open to answering questions about your life, too. Take interest in their passion, family and hobbies. If mutual interest is there, suggest meeting up in the future at a pace that you both are comfortable with.”
4. Resolve old issues
No matter who was in the wrong, try to resolve the old issues that led to you two losing touch. Do not get involved in the blame game and try to sort out the matter maturely. Don’t forget to lay your cards on the table and be honest. Building a strong foundation is necessary if you wish to continue with this friendship, the expert states.
“Once you start hanging out together and laugh more candidly, you will realise that reconnecting is not that challenging. We just cloud our minds with a lot of anxiety and base our decisions on them,” Kaur concludes.